How to Downsize?

The fist thing you have to do is sell all your shit.

Craigslist, EBAY, Word of Mouth, Garage Sale - Did 'em all. You'd be surprised at the crazies you'll find when doing this. I've dealt with a ton of flakes, living in Los Angeles, but when you get to craigslist, you meet some really weird cats. The actual selling was fine, it was as a buyer that I found some unbelievable characters.

I'm trying to find a conversion van to use as a house basically, so that I can, "Live in a VAN down by the RIVER!" travel the country and finish writing a novel. I have saved some funds to allow me to live for quite some time on the road and enjoy all the wonderful places you can find with a land based vehicle. I allowed myself $4000 to spend on a vehicle. For this price, you can find a decent mobile home. I was looking for a conversion van as it would allow me to park anywhere and save some money on gas while I'm at it. After several weeks of searching, I found a deal that was too good to be true - you know what they say about that. The guy wanted $1000 bucks for a 1995 Chevrolet Starcraft Conversion. The only issue was that it was in Oceanside and I was in Van Nuys. That is about an hour and a half drive. My friend had friends in San Diego that she wanted to see, so we made a road trip out of it.

When we finally made it to the guy's house, he seemed like a decent fellow. He and his wife were moving to Virginia, due to her being in the military. They buy a van every time they move and then sell it before they leave. I test drove the van and it all seemed like it was in good working order. We even had a nice chat with the fellow about different conversion styles and then he shared a story with us about his time in the service. He said that he had a huge scar from being shot and the field medic patched him up with dental floss. A fine veteran, I thought.

I had another van to look at closer to our friends in San Diego. I told him I would swing back by on my way home if the other van didn't work out. I made it clear that I was interested and even offered to put down a deposit. He said it wasn't necessary. The next morning, I contacted him and let him know that I would take the van. We set up a time in the afternoon to complete the transaction. He was going to clean the van and get it ready for me. Nice guy. On our way to pick up the van, I get a text alerting me that there was a small leak in the brakes. He said that he wanted to fix it and asked if it would be possible for me to pick it up later. We decided to meet in Santa Monica over the weekend at the pier. He never showed up. He even texted that he was there. He would only text for the first several minutes, then when we asked him to just call. Nothing. Do some people get off pretending that they are Aston Kutcher? It's a sick world.

There are people like that and then there are people who have an overinflated perception of their own shit. This one guy wanted $3500 for a van that was basically falling apart. I asked him via email, if there were any problems with the van and he listed that the driver's window would not go down - this seems to be a common problem with older vehicles come to find out. I get to this guy's shop and the van sounds like a tank going down the road when you turn. The radio doesn't work, neither does the air conditioner, or the interior lights, or the electric fold down back seat. I thought to myself, what does work on this thing?

As of now, I am on my way to Denver to find a van for $2200. It has a sink, a fridge, a stove, an outside shower, and a fold down bed/table combo. You're saying, how the bleep did we get to Denver? Helping a friend move, so for shits and giggles, I looked on the Denver craigslist and found the van. I was going to do most of these conversions myself, and hook up electric. The van also has 4 deep cycle batteries and a 4000 watt inverter. I just hope the thing doesn't smoke when I start it up. The other cool thing about the van is that it has a pop-top. Like a VW, the top pops up to create more headroom. It'll be like having high ceilings. Maybe I'll hang a chandelier.

It's a good feeling to clean house. Take a look around your place and just mentally tag all the shit you don't ever use. Then look in a closet. Then tag all the shit you use at least once a week. Guess which list will be longer. We are overeating, overbuying, over the top everything in this country. No wonder our economy has gone to shit, literally.